I Still Want You
by Isabel M. Cullen
Summary: It's been over 30 years since Bella last saw the Cullen's, Bella was changed one month after Edward left her; What would happen when they meet again after the 30 years apart? Will Bella take him back? Bella's dad? Just started!
1. Prologue

**I Still Want You**

**Prologue**

He left, I was so vulnerable, I wouldn't talk or eat or sleep; my father was very worried about me, but then the day had to come when Victoria came for me a month later, she tortured me so much, and left me in an abandoned cellar, and Laurent was with her he wanted me to live so he first he kidnapped me and then he changed me to what I am now, a monster, a creature made in hell but given the stolen beauty of heaven.

I killed both Victoria and Laurent both after Laurent changed me.

It's been over 30 years since I last saw the Cullen's, I told my father what I was, and I changed him when he was 49 years old, a year after I was changed.

My father and I are very extra ordinary vampires, we have every power. Our strength builds even though we drink animal blood. Our eye colors are same as they were when we were human but we are a pale color just like the Cullen's. I have not taken an innocent life of human up till now, and neither has Charlie.

My mother Renée, we met her sometimes, she knows what we are as we told her.

I haven't still met Cullen's, for which I am glad; I have had many boyfriends after Edward, but never kissed any of them, we had moved from Forks to New Hampshire, Charlie now worked in NASA, after he did his late degree of Masters in Astrology.

His pay was way more compared to the police chief job back in Forks.

And I was the high school student. My father's job made us move around a lot.

Now we are moving to Burlington, Washington. It's very close to Forks; my father bought a really nice big house there.

Usually NASA emails him the work; he also has to show up at their 'secret' places in different cities and states for meetings. I will be in senior year in high school; I bet there will be a lot gossip about us coming. This is going to be long stay in Burlington as my father has extra special projects there…

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**PLEASE REVIEW!**


	2. A New Home

**A/N: I am really sorry, but I wasn't in town so I couldn't update the story, because I had it written up in my computer and I had to wait to get back and put up the next chapter, hopefully now that I'm back I'll try to update tomorrow or day after!**

**All of the chapters will now be written in a lot description.**

**Bella's diary, linked with this story will be posted on the pen name _bellasdiary__(Author ID number: _**_**2527784)**_**; there will be two different versions of her diary, one in uncensored language(RATED-M) and one in censored language(RATED-T).**

**Bella's first diary entry will be written and published 31st October 2010.**

**(P.S. Uncensored version of Bella's diary will be able for only download as I do want to break rules of website, the download links will be entry wise, meaning when the first entry is posted the uncensored version of that particular entry will be available for download on _bellasdiary_**_**(Author ID number: ****2527784)**_** profile.)**

**(P.S.S. (Post Script Stupidity) They'll be download links on the profile...)**

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**Chapter 1**

**A New Home**

**Time: 5:34PM, **

**Bella's Perspective **

The airport was packed as I was tangling up with everyone in the crowd. I was getting a lot of stares, and the occasional whispering, 'She is hot!' and 'Where did she come from?'

I'm here in Burlington for a half hour and I'm already being talked about, over time you really start to realize how much you hate being center of attention, not only is it annoying but also that people to become a little to nosy about getting to know, pressing for more information they shouldn't ask; I remember this one time when I was in Scotland for a project and I had to go with a few people, so this guy, Taylor, kept asking me why I don't go out much, and while we were in his room discussing artifacts when he said, 'Maybe you don't go out because some cheap, sadistic guy dumped you because he didn't love you,'

When he said that, I got so mad, I was even seeing red, and to avoid yelling at him, I went out of his room, without saying anything to him, and went into my own, I curled up in a ball in the corner of my room and sobbed endlessly. After that day, I started to go out even less.

If you're wondering about Scotland and sun, I don't sparkle, well, I do, I mean we do, as in me and my dad, but we can control when we want to and when we don't want to; otherwise we can't control one thing and that's when we glow and have a very light sparkle when the full moon is up, but only when the _full _moon is up, not half or quarter, the moon has to be full.

I walked out from the doors of the airport, I saw my dad waiting for me, and if you you're wondering why I didn't come to Burlington with him, well that's because whenever we go to different places, I never get to go with him, instead after him because of some rule by NASA, of not even a soul outside NASA should know about the work they do; not even your own family should know the work you do. I went up to him and gave each other the weird half hug we usually did and loaded the car with my luggage in the trunk and went around to sit inside; a BMW, black and silver exterior and the interior was all black leather.

I closed my eyes and tilted my head upon the head on the headrest. After a long time as 30 years spent together you find out a lot about each other you could never know in a short time as 3 years. I found out so much about Charlie it sometimes shocks me. And also he knows a lot about me, also some things a dad should not know, for example, advancing on Edward, I could the corners of my tug upward as thought about that.

But _his _name, I could think about it now after so many years without hesitation because I hadn't seen him so it didn't hurt that much when I did think about _him_, but I knew it would hurt beyond comfort if I ever saw him again, which I hope I don't.

If I were to ever see him again, I knew I would break down on the inside, and cry, but if I saw him with another girl, I would rip him and the girl into shreds…

That was harsh, I should be happy if he did find someone, but I don't know, I still love him, but do I want him mentally and physically… maybe, I don't know…

The car screeched to a stop, I didn't open my eyes, but I knew my mouth held a scowl of disgust, "Why'd you stop the car that way? You know I get irritated when you do that," I asked, opening my eyes, erasing the scowl off my face and looking at my dad, he looking back at me, a half smirk on his face, I wish I could wipe it right off, but I couldn't no matter how much I wanted too.

The scowl returned as soon as it had vanished, I turned away and opened the car door from my side and got out; I even slammed the door shut for emphasis. I looked toward the ground as I walked over to the front yard, I finally looked up; I was breathless, and speechless!

The garden was beautiful, there were so many hues of flowers, one after a another, it was as if the colors were blending with each other, it really bought out its beauty; here and there were touches or splashes of gold and purple and white, I could even hear the fluttering of the hummingbird's wings as they went from flower to flower, and there were so many scents, freesias, roses, lilies, carnations and gardenia!

I could just sit here all day admiring Mother Nature's beauty; this place was very calming, I loved it, it actually made me smile, it's been 15 years since I ever smiled genuinely, I was happy; I slid down into a cross-legged sitting position as my eyes wildly jumping from one beautifully scented flower to another, one delicate stem to the other, they looked so breakable, one leave full of texture to the other that the human eye cannot see.

I took deep breath from my nose—even though I didn't need it—taking in all the wonderful scents, I felt someone come up behind me and sit down next to me, it was my dad, who else could it be?

"It's a beauty, isn't it?" he asked, taking a breath himself, I hummed in response, I looked up at the sky, it was color of pink blending in gold, it was a sight, I sighed and got up, no matter how beautiful it might be, it has to go, it had an ending, everything has an ending, but do immortals also have an ending?

I shook my head to clear my thoughts; I turned toward the house, it looked like one those mountain houses from Europe, cream wall paint and Mpingo wood or African Blackwood—a very rare and expensive wood. I walked over to the front door, I tried the handle, it was open, I looked around the foyer of the house, it was very grand, and the entire back wall was made of glass, with wood over lapping it in different crisscrossed patterns.

The interior setting of furniture was simple yet elegant. The couches were cream colored like the walls, even the carpet was cream colored. Simple yet elegant; more like how you would describe Cullen house interior…

I don't why I keep remembering them; it's happening a lot lately, I wish it would stop but it won't; I remember when I turned a vampire, Edward leaving me in the forest was one of my most sharpest memories, like a high definition music video…

Alright weird comparison, but it's true.

I looked over to the staircase on my left, there was a red carpet—wait, it isn't carpet, it's silk, sheet upon sheet of silk, that made gave it the effect of thickness and made it look slightly like a carpet.

I suddenly glanced at my shoes—black Chucks. I walked over to the staircase and I kept one foot on the silk covered step; it didn't seem to slip, so I slowly kept my other foot on the next step, I sighed, and started to walk up the stairs; it led to a hallway with three doors against the wall; but right at the end of the hallway there was a wall, but not the type of wall you usually see, it looked like it could move, it was… flamboyant, but there was a very visible line separating it from the plain borders—well, at least to my eyesight as I was standing at least thirty-five to forty feet away from the wall.

I looked back at the doors, they were made out of the same wood—Mpingo, I really like this place…

I suddenly focused on the area at the side of the doorknob… they were craved letters; the third door had my initial, a 'B'. It was craved very beautifully.

In less than a second my hand was on the craved letter; I tracing it with my hand; I was careful not to press too hard to ruin it; I traced over to the knob and turned it, I heard soft click and I pushed it open, a long hallway was in front of me, on the ground were even more sheets of pure red silk, but this time the sheets actually looked like silk instead of a carpet, at the end was a large window, looking towards the outdoors, with the curtains elegantly on one side. I walked over to it, but right the end there was a sharp turn towards the left, I went that way, at the end on the right side was another door, with another carved initial 'B', but there are something weird about this 'B' beside the knob, it had a Bermuda Buttercup at its left corner, it looked… pretty?

I sighed and turned the knob, it opened to a centre hall, not too big, not to small. The hall was all round, at the left side was a smaller room, I'm the guessing the closet, and at the right side was the bedroom, when glanced to the bedroom, from the corner of my left eye, I saw one wooden circle attached to the wall that had two wolves facing each other with their claws in front of the their mouths open, as though they were growling at each other; whoever craved them, made they look like enemies, but there was something familiar with the wolf on the right, it looked so much like Jacob.

It's been a pretty long time since I last thought about Jacob's name, now I wondered where he was and has he imprinted yet, maybe he has, maybe not…

I shook my head to clear my head; but I stopped short when I saw a thin like between the two ferocious wolves; curiosity got the best of me, that's when I noticed the number pad at the side of the circle, I was guessing one combination, and that the combination of my closet back in Paris, I had get one for my closet as mostly all the girls wanted everything in my closet so I decided to get a pass code for it.

I remembered them, they were _1901_, and it was the year in which Alice and Edward were born in…

I looked away and headed toward the bedroom; I jumped on the bed and curled into a ball, I closed my eyes and kept thinking about the happy times and trying to avoid the painful memories but nothing helped one bit, I sat up again and decided to write in my diary; I had grown used to keeping a diary for a long time now, and my dad also knew for every new place I kept a new diary, so he kept a new diary on the bedside table, I picked it up, it had a satin covering, all black and a black ribbon that worked as a lock.

I pulled the string to open the diary, I grabbed the pen and started to pour my heart out into the diary, by the time I finished writing it was the next day, I looked over at the clock at the far east of the bed room, 4:26 AM, and it was only **breaking dawn** now.

I got out of my bedroom and hurried down the steps, after reaching the bottom I quickly looked around, and eyes landed on the door at the corner, I ran towards it and opened it, and as excepted I found my all my boxes with my favorite possessions, I picked it up effortlessly and ran back up to my room, I set down the box on the coffee table at the centre of my little ballroom type hall, and opened it, I was little overly excited, and got even more excited when I saw what was inside it…

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**A/N: Can you guess what's inside the box? Let me know what _you _think is inside...**

**Next update on Friday!**


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